A change in feelings.

Today has been so much better, I talked things through with that certain someone. Let me tell you, it felt so good to get it off my chest. He was surprisingly comforting and took it better than I thought. I'm now much more optimistic about the future.

I've been house sitting for the rest of the day and now I'm back home which feels good.

I genuinely just had this text:
"Just insults with you isn’t it tubs? Can’t have a real convo, just have to make people upset cuz you want more cake. x"


I laughed so hard.

Now I'm just listening to music and talking to a good friend. So overall much better than being miserable the last couple of days. No doubt I'll feel miserable later on but I might as well enjoy this feeling while it lasts.

I can't keep it bottled up forever.

I knew it was going to hurt but I never expected it to this extent. I've been upset, angry, confused, every negative emotion under the sun. Everyone says I'll get over it etc, but it's been nearly two weeks and the pain hasn't changed. It's worse first thing in the morning and last thing at night, sometimes I dream your lying next to me and reach out into nothingness. During the day I keep up this act of being okay, but as soon as someone brings it up, tears form in the corners of my eyes. I miss you, ache for you even but I know those fond memories will never return. Maybe I'm only hurting myself by hanging on to our memories, maybe I should just push you out of my life. But honestly I know I couldn't, you'd still be with me in my dreams.

I feel pathetic to be acting so desperately, I'm not sure if you even think of me now. I like to entertain the thought that perhaps you dream of me too. But I know that's just a thought, nothing more than a figure of my imagination, for you are much braver than me and are most definately coping better.



"I can't write a love song the way I feel today,
I can't sing no song of hope, I got nothing to say.
Life is feeling kind of strange, since you went away,
I sing this song to you wherever you are,
As my guitar lies bleeding in my arms."

- My Guitar Lies Bleeding In My Arms, Bon Jovi

The way you make me feel.

You know that feeling where you love someone, to the point of aching for them? I'm not even sure how you feel about me but my feelings will never change. I saw you today and got the same butterflies I did when you told me you liked me. I adore you...

/sob story.

Fresh and exiting.

Hello!
So this is my new blog. I made one before but I stopped updating and deleted it. I actually want to use this one as an online diary. I probably won't put anything too personal because as it's the internet any random weirdo can read it, that includes you Dom.

I don't have much interesting to say but you can follow and listen!

-xox-